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bleed
what do I
why do I
holy hell
bleed.
what do I
why do I
sever this
tender reed?
what do I
why do I
holy hell
bleed.
this is what
this is why
holy hell
I need.
FREE -
FREE -
FREE -
free of me...
GJK
1NOV00
driven
'be driven' I heard him say
one day as he was getting high -
another occasion brought the words
'be far beyond driven' to his lips...
he said that at a bar
just before he fell off his stool.
- why should I listen to his
spontaneous vacuous drivel?
- why should I heed a hypocrite
who doesn't have the sense
to listen to himself?
so I say I'll be driven
when I'm driven to it
by whatever force that takes hold.
I'll be far beyond driven
when I deliberately choose
a cause that I would die for.
is that driven enough, punk?
is that radical enough?
is that insane enough
you self-loathing schmuck?
...thought so.
GJK
1JAN01
naked light bulbs
hendrix hobo guitar blues:
everybody's smokin' cigarettes
the coffee's gettin' stale
but we're still sippin'
slippin' slip-slidin' into the
gutter of midnight
rumble train in the distance
starlight smiles grimey grin
din of freight passing by
this one stoplight town
the diner frowns at the dirt
tracked in by passers-through,
gurus searching for emptiness
often find it here
the ceiling sags down on the
hazy blue-smoke atmosphere
of complacence,
conversations stagnant like the wind.
coughs staccata puncuate
the malaise
flickering light strobing bright
irritation to the eye,
sparse oxygen evades
dirty lungs
ashtray flung to the floor
announces the disgruntled
exit.
GJK
29MAR00
heroin.
wet my desire -
hone the knife
ready the flesh
soak in the death.
heroin.
slake my thirst i burst
for another fix
always hoping
it will be as good
as the first --
never is.
heroin.
bleeding green
i wonder what venus
looks like up close.
- why are the dandelions mocking me -
heroin.
wrap the strap
grapple with the spoon
create fire yet again.
heroin.
a bitch of
insurmountable
proportion.
heroin.
a fool's misfortune.
GJK
1JAN01
come on in
welcome to my personal hell
how about a guided tour.
over here we have the Rabid Dog Depression.
he likes to steal sanity, security, and peace.
he sh*ts on hope, he drools pessimism
and when you walk him he always lead you
to the edge of a cliff.
and here's the Spectre of Chemical Dependancy!
he likes to lure unfortunates in with promises
of euphoric revelation, of instant gratification,
but you see he is a liar.
the Spectre hates everyone, he rages after death.
here is Disappointment, a gray puddle under a gray sky
the tears of all my days my fears my thoughts that
i'll never get what i want.
and this - this is the Wild Wolf Anxiety.
he likes to feed on the bones of those
who fall from Depression's cliff.
just when you think you can raise your shattered body
along comes the Wolf to suck the marrow from you.
- perhaps i shouldn't show you the rest...
aren't you glad to have met these,
my companions in
my personal hell.
GJK
22JAN01
stoned
falling
into
a place of danger
disguised as
euphoria...
mind drifting
like smoke
recalling history
and the days
of old stoned
glory...
experience
embraced
and no shame
follows
until the next day
when i'm stoned
by my fastidious
conscience.
i prefer
the blamelessness
of yesterday -
i didn't want this beating
(though i asked for it)
i didn't want
to be stoned again
i don't need
the abuse.
GJK
31AUG00
maelstrom
methodology
droppin top hat neon orange
is it plastic? is it blood?
are you. . .
spilled upper lip
tongue depressor saggitarius
godless man gone down
visage torn
search those outer edge words
twist the battle cat attack
the black jack jap
flap jack flak jacket
jack sack
smack
too many brain cells to destroy
grab too much power
gotta ride it out
gotta try not to die
blue stop light
orange tail light
flat black swirl
bottle up a dream mother****er
strangle house
acid haus
my name is maus
cross a line
kiss the death
OM tonight
slash pick axe
god'am
Maus 2001
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void of hell
i was attacked by a demon
last night in a dream.
it was lust.
sucked into a void of hell
and sex and ***k
i'm a worm
i squirm
into crevasses meant only
for the dead.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
writhe -
try to wake bowels melt
unseen force crashing shelves
breaking bones thrash
IT'S REAL
i feel something end,
something undone.
GJK
9FEB01
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